I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
