Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
