Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
