yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
