took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just google imaged poop.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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