So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize