it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
