i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
