at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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