I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize