yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
