Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize