apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
