Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
