happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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