She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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