I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
