Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
