Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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