It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
