if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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