Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
