The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
