Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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