You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize