We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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we're making bets on your personal life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
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You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.