idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
