So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"