A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo