I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
