At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
