Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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