how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
