You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
