She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis