theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.