Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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