just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
