I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
