Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
