also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
