This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
