So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
