Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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