what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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