His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
