I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
