at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
