And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
