my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
