You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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