Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
