I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize