Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
