i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
