Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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