I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize