It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
