Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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