It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize