Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
