Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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