it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
