I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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