Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
