hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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